The chickens were very obliging with this photo shoot!

I’m having something of an identity crisis. Where do my main interests lie? With writing? With cakes? Or with my smallholding project? A year ago I thought I knew, but this house move has thrown up all sorts of interests I never dreamed I had.

All this choice and I seem to go around in circles. Even my twitter handle is taunting me. Am I helenredders? Or HelenCakeMaker? Or HelenHenOrchard?

But, on reflection, I want to be a writer. I am a writer. The craft sends me absolutely barmy sometimes, and recently I’ve had to take a massive step back from it. But the joy you get when you’ve completed a few hundred words, even though you thought your head was empty, or you’ve cracked a sticking plot point from fresh air (how does your mind do that?) is what brings me back to my laptop again and again.

I’ve set up another blog, Hen Orchard, and I love writing about what we’re doing with the chickens, the trees and our dreams for the land in the future. I have plans for that blog. But that is just one part of the work I do. I also write about books and food for Novelicious, have a cake book with the first three chapters and synopsis ready to do the rounds with agents and have a novel planned out and on the second draft. So maybe my handle should go back to helenredders. An umbrella term that doesn’t rule out one interest or another.

My husband summed it up for me yesterday. When I talk about you to my new colleagues, what do I describe you as? A chicken farmer or a writer?

A writer, I replied immediately, without thinking. With a huge interest in chickens and smallholding.

Yes, I’ve been writing fiction. I don’t tell myself I have to write fiction every day. But in the mornings, after I’ve faffed a bit and caught up with what is going on in the world, I’ll write a few hundred words.

I’m now on 19,083 words. It isn’t fast work, but this method is working. And it still gives me time to write for Novelicious, continue with my other writing projects and work outside on the trees, plants and chickens.

Me and my boots looking at Hen Orchard.

Just a little update to let you know I haven’t been eaten by a chicken.

I launched my new website Hen Orchard a few weeks ago. It includes a blog about my ‘smallholding’ ambitions and adventures. Starting with the chickens and ducks then the fruit trees and so on, hopefully then leading into pigs and bees. The idea was to tie it in with courses through a particular company but I’m having second thoughts – about the company. I also want to run a hen hotel…but I’m hoping that will evolve naturally. For now I’m going to concentrate on the blog. Have a look! It’s henorchard.com.

I’ve also been writing fiction. Yes my Verity project has had some words added. Approximately 1500. I’m thinking it’s better if I do them first thing in the morning before the gardening, trees and chickens take over. I need to think seriously about a routine so I can combine writing with working outside. Otherwise I flit from one thing to another and feel I’ve not actually achieved anything.

So that’s where I am at the moment…

So I didn’t write for a few days. Fear paralysed me (plus having a bad back didn’t help.) But then I thought, that’s ok. Make Tuesday and Wednesday your designated writing days. You don’t have to write every day. (It’s funny when you have to tell yourself the same things over and over and over again.)

Today is designated writing day, Tuesday. I’ve written 641 words quite naturally – once I’d stopped faffing around. My total is now 17,208.

Diane Keaton writing in Something’s Gotta Give.

In the last few years I’ve written about cake, motherhood, writing and chickens. Writing fiction has been limited.

I’ve felt separated from a lot of writers I’ve got to know over the years through t’internet. Not because of them, but because I haven’t felt part of it. I didn’t feel like a writer. In fact, I don’t feel like a writer. When I first started writing and blogging a number of years ago now, I wrote a first draft of a novel. It was a cathartic experience for me and allowed me to get better after suffering somewhat from the birth of my first child. Then I had an idea for a proper novel. A novel not based on my experiences with PND but completely fictional. I called my character Verity. I wrote 50,000 or so words, had a plan, had pictures, maps and so on.

Then I stopped.

I didn’t have the confidence to finish it. I didn’t know how it was going to get to the end, whether it was going to be one book or it would come in two or three parts. I didn’t even know what genre of book it would fall into.

Maybe my distraction with the house move, the chickens, with cakes even was because I didn’t feel I could do this. I would think about Verity, quite a bit. I could visualise how the story ended, I could see her, I even knew what song would be appropriate and every time I heard the song I would see this picture, this final scene in my mind’s eye.

Yet I still couldn’t write it. And I felt less and less like a writer.

If this is writer’s block it has been going on for a long time. It’s not block but a year out. Longer than a year in fact.

Then a few things have happened lately that has made me want to write again. I’ve got a writing job writing two posts a week for Novelicious. This is a fabulous site for readers and writers and I’ve always loved the Writing Room series. I’ve also sorted some serious admin that has been sitting by my desk which subconsciously made me afraid to enter the room. (I didn’t realise this until I dealt with it.) And I’ve read a post about a writer who suggests you find a way to write that works for you. It doesn’t have to be an hour a day, 1000 words a day, or whatever some writers insist you should be doing. It has to suit you, otherwise the love for it goes away.

And I want to rediscover this love. This sense of achievement as the words mount up. This sense of pride (and frustration) because even though most of the words you are writing in the first draft are rubbish, at least you’re getting something down. And you can’t edit a blank page.

I still fear a massive amount of fear. But I’m going to try and do it anyway.

[And I'm going to write about it more, here on this blog. My chickens are going to another (blog) home. This is mainly going to be me and my writing.]

***Updated***

I’ve written 534 words today and I’m rather pleased with that. Jenny’s suggestion in my comments of 100 words a day (something we used to do when finding a writing routine hard to grasp) was a good one. I aimed for 100 and went over.

Then this morning we went to Mini Meadows Farm and picked up three new chickens. I wanted one that laid a white or blue egg so we got another Coral (hybrid) and a Cream Legbar (pure breed) which lays white and blue respectively. We also got another ranger, a black tail one this time. For no other reason than because she was a beautiful red colour.

Getting ready for new arrivals…

Flapjack the Cream Legbar.

In she goes.

Jane Marple (the red one) and Boots (the white one in the house) are now in.

Beautiful colour on the black tail Ranger.

The other chickens aren’t impressed. What a fuss they made.

Hermione trying to find a way into their run.

Agatha having a bath.

Who would have thought de-licing chickens would have made for such a lovely day? Of course, the weather was beautiful too, it wouldn’t have been as nice if it was cold and wet. But I have thoroughly enjoyed being outside with the children and the chickens today.

After panicking a little yesterday when we found lice around Dora’s vent during their regular treatment for red mite, I bought some de-lousing powder today. One of the chickens, Agatha, also had some egg yolk on her (!) so I thought a bath for all them, following the advice given on this website, would be in order.

After catching them all yesterday for the red mite treatment we had to do it again today. Twice. Once for the bathing and again once they’d dried off to apply various powders. The poor girls. They enjoyed their bath but they don’t like being caught. They did sulk for a while but the sun warmed them up and after lunch they were dry enough to be powdered. And how lovely and bright they looked afterwards.

It was like giving a mucky child a good bath and talcum powdering them afterwards so they looked clean, shiny and brand new. To get them to come out of their second sulk, I threw down some straw for them to scratch about in. Soon there were contented clucks coming from all of them. And in the dappled afternoon sunlight they were an absolute joy to watch.

It was worth it, examining vents and rubbing powder into bottoms, just for that.

Hermione just after her bath.

Hermione and Barbara looking sparkling.

Scratching around in the hay.

Beautifully clean. (For a chicken!)

No more yolk on Agatha.

Powdered bottoms.

And this is just for starters.

Most of them have been planted in or around where the chickens are – in what is now named Hen Orchard.

We bought them as bare root trees. Most of them are whips so about a metre tall but there are a few standards too – the hawthorns and the crab apple.

It was exciting work, planting them. And when the trees went in the ground the tree and the area immediately felt happy. I’m really looking forward to seeing them grow.

As I’ve just overheard my husband say, it’s not every day you plant an orchard.

Crab apple, Malus Golden Hornet

The trees are so small and thin you only know they’re there by the green tree protectors.

An apple tree, Lord Lambourne

1. I am an impatient person and can’t wait to see the trees I’ve chosen (once I’ve chosen and purchased) starting to grow.
2. The time to buy and plant the bare-rooted trees is between November and March. Time is running out if I am going to plant a few at the beginning of the year.
3. I like trees.

We do have a little bit of land so I’m finding that I need to divide it into sections so I don’t get overwhelmed. In addition to having the chicken area which I’d like to turn into an orchard we also have a paddock which is fairly exposed but has nothing but a straggling hedge to stop the northerly wind. Beyond that is a farmer’s field, plus a couple of pylons, then the dual carriageway.

So I have the orchard project and the paddock project. The paddock project I am envisaging lots of tall, evergreen trees which will provide a good wind break, hide the unsightly pylons and reduce the noise we occasionally get from the road in the winter. I’m quite keen on planting native trees too. There are some trees I like which aren’t native and which I’ll still put in, but the majority, say three-quarters, will ideally be native to this country. Plus, I want to encourage the birds and the bees. In my head the bottoms of the trees will be surrounded by wild flowers – a haven for the bee hive I’m thinking of installing there.

But. Wow. There is so much to choose from. I thought the fruit trees were difficult enough but I was lucky to find a fruit tree nursery website (Keepers Nursery) which tells you what will pollinate what. They will be delivering my fruit trees next week. I’ve been thinking though that I would like to put a few trees between the north wind and the fruit trees to protect them (the area isn’t that exposed as it’s in a little dip but I’m not taking any chances). So far I’m thinking of Rowan/Mountain Ash, Wild Cherry, and Crab Apple. All are native to this country.

With the paddock project I’m completely overwhelmed and I’m thinking this is something we’ll leave until November. But I do like the idea of Scots Pine. There are a number of these established in my village and they too are native.

And then we move onto hedging. But I can’t even think about that yet…

[The links I've provided are for Ashridge Nurseries. A fantastic nursery with a website full of advice including how to plant videos. Perfect for a novice like me. Darren has also emailed me some advice which is why I knew about the rowan, wild cherry and crab apple in the first place.]

One day all this will be fruit trees…

Well, I’ve been trying to write fiction this morning but my thoughts keep turning to my new chicken venture. The sun is out and the grass is looking lush and green. From my window with the heater on behind me, it is looking and feeling very Spring-like. Outdoors is looking enticing and making me think about the year ahead.

It seems an appropriate time to document, on this blog, what my chicken business I’ve been alluding to will entail.

From Spring I would like to offer a chicken boarding business. People who want a holiday, or are perhaps moving house, temporary long hours with work – whatever the reason I will be able to accommodate their chickens in an Omlet Eglu Cube.

The Eglu is what I’ve been saving up for with my eBay sales. They’re not cheap but will make the cleaning and disinfecting between chicken-clients so much easier than a wooden chicken coop.

But I also got thinking about running chicken courses. The one I went on last Summer was fantastic and gave me the confidence and nudge I needed. I would like to offer courses for absolute beginners to chicken keeping. Maybe they have been thinking about it but just don’t have the confidence to start, and like me, need a nudge in the right direction. There will also be cake.

As I haven’t raised the capital I need just yet, I’m currently just researching, planning the website (which has nothing on it but headings and a photo which will be replaced with a more sparkling one) and thinking how it will actually work in reality.

So there you go. Hen Orchard. So called because the my hens will soon be living in an orchard. With guests.